Sharing custody requires compromise and careful planning. If parents want to avoid conflict, then they need to agree on certain key elements of their shared custody arrangements. Every family preparing for a divorce or separation has to look carefully at details, including work schedules and the needs of the children, to establish shared custody arrangements that really work for the family.
The ages of the children can be important factors that influence the custody arrangements, particularly how long each parent spends with their children. How can parents accommodate their children based on age as they develop a shared custody schedule?
Parenting time can increase as children mature
The attachment that a child has to their primary caregiver can influence their long-term emotional and social development. It is therefore critical for parents to ensure that children develop a secure connection with their primary caregiver while they are young.
Preserving that bond and limiting the stress children experience in a shared custody arrangement requires careful scheduling. Typically, parents with younger children need to schedule more frequent visits or custody exchanges.
Infants and toddlers typically need to spend the vast majority of their time with their primary caregivers. Particularly in scenarios where the main source of nutrition for a young child is breast milk, consistent access can help the mother maintain her milk supply.
As toddlers mature and develop a sense of object permanence, it becomes more feasible for them to have overnight visits with the other parent. By the time children reach grade school age, they can spend entire weekends separated from their primary caregivers.
By middle school and high school, parents can potentially alternate or split weeks with one another. Older children may have additional demands on their schedules, including part-time jobs and extracurricular activities. Parents may need to add a bit of flexibility to their custody arrangements when their children are older.
Creating custody arrangements that focus on children’s developmental needs can help parents put their children first. Custody arrangements that work based on the current age of the children and evolve as they mature can help parents effectively share their parental rights and responsibilities.