When you and your spouse tied the knot, chances are you were not thinking about one day ending your marriage. When couples in Minnesota enter holy matrimony, they typically do so with the intent of staying together forever. As time goes by, however, you and your spouse will inevitably change. Your marriage must also adapt or be doomed to fail.
Although there are certain stigmas tied to divorce, it is sometimes the best, or only, option. But the decision to divorce is not an easy one to make and should not be rushed. If you separate from your spouse, there will be drastic changes not only in your life but in the lives of others as well. What follows may help you figure out if you should begin the process of divorcing your spouse.
Do you love your spouse?
Before filing for divorce, take time to examine how you truly feel about your spouse. Sometimes, an argument or behavior can create anger or resentment at the moment, but if you truly love your spouse these are things that can be worked out. If there is still love, it may be helpful to meet with a marriage counselor to save the marriage. However, if you no longer love your spouse, divorce may be the best course of action.
Examine both positives and negatives
Many times, when a spouse is considering divorce, they may only look at the negative aspects of the situation. Remember though that there are two sides to every situation. Before filing for divorce, it is worth noting the positives and the things that went well in the marriage. If you are having trouble finding anything positive about the current state of your marriage, it could be time to end it.
Children
It is not uncommon for spouses to prolong an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children. Yes, you should consider how a divorce will affect the lives of your kids, but you should also keep in mind that seeing their parents lead unhappy lives will also influence your children. If you divorce, think about how you will break the news to your children and what post-divorce life will look like in terms of co-parenting.
Finances
As challenging as divorce can be emotional, it is just as challenging financially. From filing paperwork to hiring lawyers, it can be an expensive process. Also, during the marriage, you likely shared household expenses with your spouse. Consider what it will take to carry the full financial responsibility by yourself and search for a job if you currently do not have one.
Happiness
Are you happy in your current marriage, or would you be happier alone? Before asking your spouse for a divorce, you may need to prioritize what is important for you and communicate this to your spouse to gain more clarity. Whether you decide to stick it out or end the marriage, it is important to stay optimistic and remember that you control your future. If you have questions about the process of divorce, keep in mind that there are professionals standing by who are ready to help.